First, the definition:
“The ability to work hard and respond resiliently to failure and adversity; the inner quality that enables individuals to work hard and stick to their long-term passions and goals.” Now the word: Grit. The definition of grit almost perfectly describes qualities every successful person possesses, because mental toughness builds the foundations for long-term success. For example, successful people are great at delaying gratification. Successful people are great at withstanding temptation. Successful people are great at overcoming fear in order to do what they need to do. (Of course, that doesn’t mean they aren’t scared–that does mean they're brave. Big difference.) Successful people don’t just prioritize. They consistently keep doing what they have decided is most important. All those qualities require mental strength and toughness–so it’s no coincidence those are some of the qualities of remarkably successful people. Here are ways you can become mentally stronger–and as a result more successful: Always act as if you are in total control. There’s a quote often credited to Ignatius: “Pray as if God will take care of all; act as if all is up to you.” (Cool quote.) The same premise applies to luck. Many people feel luck has a lot to do with success or failure. If they succeed, luck favored them, and if they fail, luck was against them. Most successful people do feel good luck played some role in their success. But they don’t wait for good luck or worry about bad luck. They act as if success or failure is totally within their control. If they succeed, they caused it. If they fail, they caused it. By not wasting mental energy worrying about what might happen to you, you can put all your effort into making things happen. (And then, if you get lucky, hey, you’re even better off.) You can’t control luck, but you can definitely control you.
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Put aside things you have no ability to impact.
Mental strength is like muscle strength–no one has an unlimited supply. So why waste your power on things you can’t control? For some people, it’s politics. For others, it’s family. For others, it’s global warming. Whatever it is, you care, and you want others to care. Fine. Do what you can do: Vote. Lend a listening ear. Recycle, and reduce your carbon footprint. Do what you can do. Be your own change–but don’t try to make everyone else change. (They won’t.) See the past as valuable training and nothing more. The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others. Then let it go. Easier said than done? It depends on your perspective. When something bad happens to you, see it as an opportunity to learn something you didn’t know. When another person makes a mistake, don’t just learn from it–see it as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding. The past is just training; it doesn’t define you. Think about what went wrong but only in terms of how you will make sure that next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right. Celebrate the success of others. Many people–I guarantee you know at least a few–see success as a zero-sum game: There’s only so much to go around. When someone else shines, they think that diminishes the light from their stars. Resentment sucks up a massive amount of mental energy–energy better applied elsewhere. When a friend does something awesome, that doesn’t preclude you from doing something awesome. In fact, where success is concerned, birds of a feather tend to flock together–so draw your successful friends even closer. Don’t resent awesomeness. Create and celebrate awesomeness, wherever you find it, and in time you’ll find even more of it in yourself.
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Never allow yourself to whine. (Or complain. Or criticize.)
Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems always makes you feel worse, not better. So if something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining. Put that mental energy into making the situation better. (Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you’ll have to make it better.) So why waste time? Fix it now. Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself. And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t just serve as a shoulder they can cry on. Friends don’t let friends whine; friends help friends make their lives better. Focus only on impressing yourself. No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all things. People may like your things–but that doesn’t mean they like you. (Sure, superficially they might seem to like you, but what’s superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship not based on substance is not a real relationship.) Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself. And you’ll have a lot more mental energy to spend on the people who really do matter in your life. Count your blessings. Take a second every night before you turn out the light and, in that moment, quit worrying about what you don’t have. Quit worrying about what others have that you don’t. Think about what you do have. You have a lot to be thankful for. Feels pretty good, doesn’t it? Feeling better about yourself is the best way of all to recharge your mental batteries.
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Phil Mora is a business consultant and CMO at Bold. I specialize in digital marketing, business development and entrepreneurship. A creative problem solver with a talent for strategic thinking and communication, I combine lessons learned from more than 15 years as a high-tech industry executive with my roots as a software technologist, product developer and digital marketeer. When I am not working on client projects, I am obsessed with with sports, fitness, wellness, nutrition and anything holistic: you’ll find me at the gym or outdoors training hard. I look forward to connecting with you!
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Want to make a huge difference in someone’s life? Here are things you should say every day to your employees, colleagues, family members, friends, and everyone you care about:
“Here’s what I’m thinking.” You’re in charge, but that doesn’t mean you’re smarter, savvier, or more insightful than everyone else. Back up your statements and decisions. Give reasons. Justify with logic, not with position or authority. Though taking the time to explain your decisions opens those decisions up to discussion or criticism, it also opens up your decisions to improvement. Authority can make you "right,” but collaboration makes everyone right–and makes everyone pull together. “I was wrong.” Think about something like this .... I once came up with what I thought was an awesome plan to improve overall productivity by moving a crew to a different shift on an open production line. The inconvenience to the crew was considerable, but the payoff seemed worth it. On paper, it was perfect. In practice, it wasn’t. So, a few weeks later, I met with the crew and said, "I know you didn’t think this would work, and you were right. I was wrong. Let’s move you back to your original shift.” I felt terrible. I felt stupid. I was sure I’d lost any respect they had for me. It turns out I was wrong about that, too. Later one employee said, "I didn’t really know you, but the fact you were willing to admit you were wrong told me everything I needed to know.” When you’re wrong, say you’re wrong. You won’t lose respect–you’ll gain it. "That was awesome.” No one gets enough praise. No one. Pick someone–pick anyone–who does or did something well and say, "Wow, that was great how you…” And feel free to go back in time. Saying “Earlier, I was thinking about how you handled that employee issue last month…” can make just as positive an impact today as it would have then. (It could even make a bigger impact, because it shows you still remember what happened last month, and you still think about it.) Praise is a gift that costs the giver nothing but is priceless to the recipient. Start praising. The people around you will love you for it–and you’ll like yourself a little better, too.
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“You’re welcome.”
Think about a time you gave a gift and the recipient seemed uncomfortable or awkward. Their reaction took away a little of the fun for you, right? The same thing can happen when you are thanked or complimented or praised. Don’t spoil the moment or the fun for the other person. The spotlight may make you feel uneasy or insecure, but all you have to do is make eye contact and say, "Thank you.” Or make eye contact and say, “You’re welcome. I was glad to do it.” Don’t let thanks, congratulations, or praise be all about you. Make it about the other person, too. "Can you help me?” When you need help, regardless of the type of help you need or the person you need it from, just say, sincerely and humbly, "Can you help me?” I promise you’ll get help . And in the process you’ll show vulnerability, respect, and a willingness to listen–which, by the way, are all qualities of a great leader. And are all qualities of a great friend. "I’m sorry.” We all make mistakes, so we all have things we need to apologize for: words, actions, omissions, failing to step up, step in, show support… Say you’re sorry. But never follow an apology with a disclaimer like "But I was really mad, because…” or “But I did think you were…” or any statement that in any way places even the smallest amount of blame back on the other person. Say you’re sorry, say why you’re sorry, and take all the blame. No less. No more. Then you both get to make the freshest of fresh starts.
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“Can you show me?”
Advice is temporary; knowledge is forever. Knowing what to do helps, but knowing how or why to do it means everything. When you ask to be taught or shown, several things happen: You implicitly show you respect the person giving the advice; you show you trust his or her experience, skill, and insight; and you get to better assess the value of the advice. Don’t just ask for input. Ask to be taught or trained or shown. Then you both win. "Let me give you a hand.” Many people see asking for help as a sign of weakness. So, many people hesitate to ask for help. But everyone needs help. Don’t just say, “Is there anything I can help you with?” Most people will give you a version of the reflexive “No, I’m just looking” reply to sales clerks and say, “No, I’m all right.” Be specific. Find something you can help with. Say "I’ve got a few minutes. Can I help you finish that?” Offer in a way that feels collaborative, not patronizing or gratuitous. Model the behavior you want your employees to display. Then actually roll up your sleeves and help. “I love you.” No, not at work, but everywhere you mean it–and every time you feel it. Nothing. Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. If you’re upset, frustrated, or angry, stay quiet. You may think venting will make you feel better, but it never does. That’s especially true where your employees are concerned. Results come and go, but feelings are forever. Criticize an employee in a group setting and it will seem like he eventually got over it, but inside, he never will. Before you speak, spend more time considering how employees will think and feel than you do evaluating whether the decision makes objective sense. You can easily recover from a mistake made because of faulty data or inaccurate projections. You’ll never recover from the damage you inflict on an employee’s self-esteem. Be quiet until you know exactly what to say–and exactly what affect your words will have.
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Phil Mora is a business consultant and CMO at Bold. I specialize in digital marketing, business development and entrepreneurship. A creative problem solver with a talent for strategic thinking and communication, I combine lessons learned from more than 15 years as a high-tech industry executive with my roots as a software technologist, product developer and digital marketeer. When I am not working on client projects, I am obsessed with with sports, fitness, wellness, nutrition and anything holistic: you’ll find me at the gym or outdoors training hard. I look forward to connecting with you!
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Could you be part of the emerging group who are turning great ideas and pastimes into real businesses? Or just a small business entrepreneur, to whom it seems like the work never stops? A fun aspect of entrepreneurship is the diversity of people that you meet and the variety of ways that people have gotten to where they are. There isn’t one single formula on how it is done, which makes the journey that more exciting. Some start as salespeople, some investors, some from other failed or successful ventures. Since nearly everyone has become an entrepreneur, similar to how nearly everyone in Los Angeles is an actor, I’ve noticed, through the “coffee-having,” “brain-picking,” “introduce-me-to-investors-please,” meetings that as diverse as they are, entrepreneurs fall into the same few buckets. Do you know where you stand out?
When I first started being an entrepreneur in the 1990s, the word "entrepreneur" was not popular. It was a rarefied word that applied only to founders of the fastest-growing (or fastest-failing) enterprises. And at the risk of pointing out the obvious, those leaders were mostly young, male and in tech. Today entrepreneurship doesn't just mean starting a tech company, as valuable as that may be. It means undertaking any bold venture -- from selling crafts out of your basement to improving your neighborhood to proposing a new initiative in your corporation. The techniques involved in sharpening your idea, facing down critics, recruiting boosters and handling setbacks apply in almost every realm of work. Entrepreneurship, defined as a nimble, creatively destructive, optimistic force, has become the go-to problem-solving technique of the 21st century. But that's also created a problem. The word "entrepreneur," once underused, is now overused. We have "social entrepreneurs," "intrapreneurs," "mompreneurs," "kidpreneurs." What we need is a new lexicon. First, let’s look at four categories, or species:
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1. Gazelles
These are classic entrepreneurs -- those who start new businesses and aim to become hot phenomena. Think of Google, GoPro or Spanx. "Gazelle" was a term that economist David Birch came up with in 1994. It describes high-growth businesses whose sales double every four years. Though just 6% of companies fit this model, this miniscule group accounts for nearly all private sector job creation. Like the animal, gazelle entrepreneurs are fast-moving and high-jumping. 2. Skunks The term "intrapreneur," coined in the 1970s, refers to innovators within large corporations. Though the word remains clunky, the idea of encouraging employees to be more independent and creative has become an urgent cry. The "topple rate" of big companies, a metric that gauges how often they lose their leadership position, more than doubled between 1965 and 2008. Pretending your job is safe and your company is stable leaves you dangerously exposed. If you think risk-taking is risky, being risk-averse is often riskier. Even if your company continues to thrive, your ability to survive in it depends on your capacity and willingness to innovate. Job security these days depends on the same qualities that make good entrepreneurs -- agility, imagination, persistence and execution. As Michael Dell says, "There are the quick, and the dead." Adapt from within or be forced to adapt from without. Become a skunk. The term comes from Lockheed Corporation, which during World War II set up a secret division to build fighter jets. It was called Skunk Works. The message: entrepreneurs operating within large corporations go out of their way to stink up the joint.
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3. Dolphins
For the past decade, there's been abundant chatter that the social sector must become more entrepreneurial. Nonprofits need to employ more business techniques. Philanthropy needs more metrics. Despite this, too many organizations continue to lag behind the age of disruption. What they need are more dolphins. Dolphins are contrarians in the nonprofit or public sector who are willing to buck convention and agitate for change. Why dolphins? Because they're smart, social and among the few altruistic animals. But they're not pushovers: harm a dolphin's pod and watch out! Today, even causes for which there are no compelling private-sector solutions are ripe for entrepreneurial shake-up. Dolphins are the ones making the waves. 4. Butterflies The last group that needs to be more entrepreneurial are small-scale or lifestyle entrepreneurs -- plumbers, yoga instructors, bakers, craft makers. We call them small business owners. 40% of American adults have now spent part of their careers working on their own. As Jay-Z put it, "I'm not a businessman; I'm a business, man." I call this species butterflies, because butterflies are varied (there are at least 17,500 types) and driven by freedom and individualism. At first glance, this group would hardly seem candidates for the skillset of ground-breaking change-makers. Do you really need to be disruptive when you're selling homemade cheese at the farmer's market? The answer: You do, because your competitor probably has an in at Whole Foods, accepts credit-card payments with a Square reader and just launched a vibrant web business. Etsy, the online arts and crafts hub, now has over a million "makers" selling goods directly to consumers. Even butterflies need to spread their wings wider. Today, innovators of all types are popping up everywhere. They aren't waiting for changes to happen to them, they're making changes happen every day. Whatever your passion, pick one of these species and start writing your story -- or risk being an ostrich, with your head stuck in the sand.
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Phil Mora is a business consultant and CMO at Bold. I specialize in digital marketing, business development and entrepreneurship. A creative problem solver with a talent for strategic thinking and communication, I combine lessons learned from more than 15 years as a high-tech industry executive with my roots as a software technologist, product developer and digital marketeer. When I am not working on client projects, I am obsessed with with sports, fitness, wellness, nutrition and anything holistic: you’ll find me at the gym or outdoors training hard. I look forward to connecting with you!
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What kinds of personality and skills are you missing? Working out which types of leadership you have on your team can work wonders for your effectiveness as a group and help you to recognize how you and your colleagues can individually make their best contributions.
Although the ghost of the Great Man still haunts leadership studies, most of us have recognized by now that successful organizations are the product of distributive, collective, and complementary leadership. The first step in putting together such a team is to identify each member of the team’s personality makeup and leadership style, so that strengths and competences can be matched to particular roles and challenges. Getting this match wrong can bring misery to all concerned and cause considerable damage. My own approach to leadership assessment is to see and understand that attitudes and interactions with people are the result of a complex confluence of one's inner theater (including relationships with authority figures early in life), significant life experiences, examples set by other executives, and formal leadership training. As these influences play out over time, one typically sees a number of recurring patterns of behavior that influence an individual’s effectiveness within an organization. I think of these patterns as leadership “essences,” reflecting the various roles executives can play in organizations and it is a lack of fit between a leader’s essence and the context in which he or she operates is a main cause of team and organizational dysfunctionality and executive failure. The eight essences I have found to be most prominent are:
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Working out which types of leaders you have on your team can work wonders for your effectiveness as a group. It helps you to recognize how you and your colleagues can individually make their best contributions. This will in turn create a culture of mutual support and trust, reduce team stress and conflict, and make for more creative problem solving. It also informs your search for new additions to the team: what kinds of personality and skills are you missing?
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Phil Mora is a business consultant and CMO at Bold. I specialize in digital marketing, business development and entrepreneurship. A creative problem solver with a talent for strategic thinking and communication, I combine lessons learned from more than 15 years as a high-tech industry executive with my roots as a software technologist, product developer and digital marketeer. When I am not working on client projects, I am obsessed with with sports, fitness, wellness, nutrition and anything holistic: you’ll find me at the gym or outdoors training hard. I look forward to connecting with you!
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Product Builder in Colorado. travel 🚀 work 🌵 weights 🍔 music 💪🏻 rocky mountains, tech and dogs 🐾
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